I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
