I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
