I bet he comes in French.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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