I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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