Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
