He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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