I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
