That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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