I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
