my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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