It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize