life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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