so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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