Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
