what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
