My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
