1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
