you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Holy sore nipples Batman
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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