just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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