I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
