We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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