this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
