He felt like a one man threesome
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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