I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
