Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
