you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
