HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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