But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Quick, to the slutcave!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
