Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
