see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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