Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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