I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
