Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
