Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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