Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
there is glitter all over my balls
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
