how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
