You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
