Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
