He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
