so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
