You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
