You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
this boner is exhausting
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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