i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I had to cum in my sink.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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