this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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