I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
