On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
