I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
