I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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