You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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