this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
