You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize