i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
