people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
