Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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